Mama Judgment

Mom judgment.  It’s an U-G-L-Y thing.  I really had NO idea about this crazy, intense, opinionated world until I became a mom myself.  No one told me that moms wage all out wars on topics such as crying it out, what you feed your kids, and breastfeeding, but oh my goodness do mamas get a little crazy when it comes to this stuff. Lately it has gotten much uglier, too.  With stories in the news like the little boy who fell into the gorilla pit and the absolutely tragic story of the boy killed by an alligator at Disney, there have been the most hateful, judgmental reactions. People are jumping to cast blame on the parents and especially the mamas, and that is just so sad to me.

About six months ago I was taking my two-year-old and 9 month old to the grocery store. I was not in a hurry or particularly distracted, and we run errands like this pretty much every day.  As I was loading my baby into her car seat, she squeezed the packet of fruit she was eating all over herself and the car.  I buckled her top straps and stopped to clean up the mess.  I then loaded my son into the car and left for the store.  On the way, our painter called, and as I was talking to him, I heard yelling and crying from the backseat (nothing out of the ordinary in my car.)  I got off the phone and turned around as my two-year-old yelled, "sister Annie is standing on her head!" To my horror, Annie was not only out of her carseat, but she was on her head in between the seats with her feet in the air.  I absolutely panicked and (thank the Lord) was able to pull into a turn lane, jump out of the car and load her back in.  I am pretty sure I was still shaking hours later.

In the chaos of cleaning up the mess, I had forgotten to finish buckling Annie's bottom straps, and she had wiggled out of her seat. How could I have been so careless? What if I had gotten in an accident?  What if she had flipped over the seat and seriously hurt herself?  I shouldn't have been talking about paint colors; I should have been paying attention to my babies. Not my finest moment as a mom.  Thank the Lord, no one was hurt, and luckily for me there was no one to witness this moment (well until now.)  Had something happened to my precious baby, I can only imagine the reactions.  "What kind of mom doesn't buckle her child into the car seat?"  "I bet she was on her cell phone."  Well, I was on my cell phone.  I did make a mistake.

Look, the judgement coming from non-parents is one thing, because let's be honest, when someone without a child shares an opinion on something they would "never" do, I just have to laugh.  I used to be one of those judgy non-parents staring at screaming kids in public, and then God gave me Cole.  Nothing will break you down and make you realize you have no idea what you are doing like the most strong-willed child in the universe that loves a good public scene.  What really bothers me though, is the moms judging other moms.  It is hard enough as it is.

I don’t think it has always been like this either.  I am pretty sure our moms just did things the way they wanted to do them and didn’t really give a darn about anyone else.  I don't think my mom was sitting around wondering if other moms were judging her because she was feeding us Kraft macaroni out of a box (I can still taste that deliciousness, by the way. My poor kids have to eat the Annie's organic stuff.) I also don't think that when a child got hurt, the first reaction was to blame the parent. When I was 10 and jumped out of a tree and hit my head, I can still remember my sweet neighbor running up my driveway to help.  She was on a walk and saw the knot on my head and immediately offered to watch my little brother while my parents took me to the ER.  There was no, where were the parents?  Was her mom even watching her?  Instead it was, HOW CAN I HELP?

 Unfortunately, times have changed, and social media has brought with it a whole new level of awareness. While it can be a wonderful way for moms to stay connected (I seriously LOVE seeing pictures of my friends' babies), with this new awareness has come some serious judgement and negativity. A friend of mine was recently struggling with quitting breastfeeding because it just wasn't working for her and her baby. She was agonizing and crying many tears over this decision, and it just happened to be breastfeeding awareness month. She said there were only like a million articles talking about the benefits of breastfeeding just mocking her on her newsfeed...as if it wasn't hard enough.

So where does this leave us? We live in a different world today, and we know more and see more, and sadly, there will always be judgmental people.  There will be people hiding behind their computer screens with ugly things to say. There will be moms posting articles on the best food to feed your kids and the sunscreen that isn't poisonous (don't even get me started.) So, the question should really be, as moms, what can do for other moms?  A few months back, I was leaving Target and Cole was having an epic tantrum, and it was so bad, I could barely load him into the car.  Another mom noticed the commotion and walked up to me.  She asked how she could help me and said she had been there, told me I was doing a great job staying calm, and then offered to return my cart for me.  I will truly never forget her kindness.

I ask you mama friends, what would it look like if as moms we all responded like that? Here is the thing; whether we believe in cryng-it-out or co-sleeping, breastfeeding or formula feeding, organic all the time or Chick-fil-A every day...WE ALL LOVE OUR KIDS AND WE ARE ALL DOING THE VERY BEST WE CAN.  We need to stop the judgement. We need to remember we all make mistakes...lots of them. Who knows better than other moms how gosh-darn hard it is. We need to say more, "You are doing a great job" and less, "I would never..." We need more, "I've been there, too" and less "How could she?" I think most importantly, we need to remember to simply ask, "How can I help?" I think that would be a really good place to start. 

Meal Planning Monday- Chicken Pasta Salad

My mom has been making this yummy pasta salad recipe for years, and it has recently become one of my favorite go-to lunch dishes.  Nanna got the recipe from her sweet friend, Linda, and not only is it tasty, but it is so stinkin' easy! (Let's be honest, I don't make anything that is not easy.) It is the perfect meal to make on a Sunday and eat throughout the week.  My mom makes it for lake weekends, and it is always a hit with everyone.  ENJOY! :)

From the Store:

1 pack chicken tenders (I like Publix Greenwise chicken)

1 box tri-color rotini

1 pack ranch (not buttermilk)

3/4-1 cup mayo

3-4 stalks celery 

onion (2-4 tablespoons finely chopped)

salt and pepper

1. Finely chop the onion.  (Use 2-4 tablespoons depending on personal preference.  Since the onion isn't cooked, it can be strong, so be sure not to use too much!)

2. Chop the celery.  (I usually use around 3-4 stalks, but you can use more or less.)

3. Boil chicken (20-30 minutes.) I use chicken tenders, because they're easier to cut up, but you can also use chicken breasts.

4. Boil pasta according to instructions.

5. Cut chicken into small pieces (I like to use my meat scissors.)

6. In large mixing bowl, mix the pasta, chicken and a packet of ranch.

7. Add 3/4 cup of mayo and the onion and celery to the bowl.  Mix well.  Add more mayo if needed (I usually end up using around 1 cup.  You can also wait to add the extra mayo until after you refrigerate the pasta.)

8. Salt and pepper to taste.

9. Refrigerate and serve cold. ENJOY! :)

Recipe Card:

1. Finely chop onion (2-4 tablespoons.)
2. Chop celery.  (I usually use around 3-4 stalks, but you can use more or less.)
3. Boil chicken (20-30 minutes.)
4. Boil pasta according to instructions.
5. Cut chicken into small pieces (I like to use my meat scissors.)
6. In large mixing bowl, mix the pasta, chicken, and a packet of ranch.
7. Add 3/4 cup of mayo and the onion and celery to the bowl.  Mix well.  Add more mayo if needed (I usually end up using around 1 cup.  You can also wait to add the extra mayo until after you refrigerate the pasta.)
8. Salt and pepper to taste.
9. Refrigerate and serve cold. ENJOY! :)

A Letter To My Friends That Are Planning to Vote For Donald Trump

Dear Trump Supporters,

I have started and stopped this blog post several times over the past couple of weeks, because I keep thinking to myself, what is the point?  If you're still supporting Trump at this point in the race after all he has said and done, there is really NO changing your mind.  I think that is what is becoming abundantly clear: as Trump said himself, he could shoot someone in the middle of Times Square and his supporters would still vote for him (yes the leading presidential candidate actually said that.)  I am still going to share my thoughts on what an absolute disaster I think it will be if Donald Trump were to be the Republican presidential nominee, though, because I feel like I have to do SOMETHING.  I can't just sit by and watch this disaster happen.  I know, I know, at the end of the day it is all in God's hands, and I can only pray for the future of our country, but still....if I can change the mind of at least one person voting for Trump, or at least make them think, then I am doing something.  So here is my best shot.

Trump fans...I get it.  I get that people are so angry with the way things are.  I am angry, too.  There are probably not many people that have a stronger dislike for our current president or are more disheartened by the state of our country than I am. I literally cannot stomach president Obama, and I have largely been in denial that he is actually the President of the United States of America (for almost 8 years now, 8 LONG years.) When he speaks I have to turn the channel on the TV, because I just can't.  I don't think he is just incompetent either. I have to agree with Marco Rubio on the line that he has gotten slack for repeating at the New Hampshire debate...Obama knows EXACTLY what he is doing.  He has been a divider-in-chief, and the America we are living in now already looks drastically different than it did when George W. was president.  Say what you want about that man, but George W. Bush LOVED this country, and I do not believe the same of the current president.

So here we are at this election and people want CHANGE.  People want someone that stands up to the crazy politically correct society that Obama has created.  I will admit that in the beginning of all of this, I started to warm up to Trump.  I never dreamed in a million years he would be the nominee, but I thought it was refreshing that he said what was on his mind and called out the media for their ridiculously left bias.  I thought that although he would not make a good president, he was opening up some important discussion. He became the voice of many Americans, and he clearly hit a nerve with people, and that is why his support grew so rapidly. As time has gone on though, and I as I have seen and heard more (and done my research) I have realized just how dangerous it would be to elect Donald Trump as the Republican nominee.

First off, I don't think he joined the presidential race because of his love for America.  I think he joined it because he has an ego the size of Texas (okay, Texas is way too small)  Ever notice what it says at the top of all of his buildings..."TRUMP" in huge gold letters.  I don't think anyone could argue that the man doesn't loves himself...A LOT. He spends more than half of his time at debates and rallies talking about his poll numbers and how much people like him.  It is honestly crazy to me that he is able to focus so much on himself and so little on his plans for the country and still gain support.  He basically praises himself and calls everyone else idiots, and for some reason people applaud him. In the most recent debate he was asked how he was going to get Mexico to pay for this wall he keeps talking about and he had NOTHING. He couldn't even begin to answer the question, yet that has been one of the main issues he has run on.

One of the scariest things to me is Trump's conservative beliefs are so new. There is nothing wrong with changing your mind and joining the conservative party... I think that is great.  However, the best predictor of the future is what has happened in the past.  He has been a HUGE supporter of Hillary Clinton over the years and donated to numerous Democratic politicians including Harry Reid and the Clinton foundation. I know he says he's made these donations because it is good business, but he has also praised the politicians whose beliefs are the opposite of everything he now says he stands for.  He has pretty much contradicted himself on EVERY SINGLE ISSUE.  These are not views he held decades ago, either.  These are all positions he has taken in very recent years.  I find it it extremely hard to believe that he's had a genuine change of heart on so many issues.  Instead, I think he is telling the American people what they want to hear to get elected.

I also don't think he can beat Hillary Clinton.  I think the media has largely given him a pass because they want him to be the nominee, because this would be the easiest ticket to a President Hillary Clinton (yikes, scary!) The only thing scarier to me than a Donald Trump presidency is a Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders presidency. I don't think you can even begin to imagine how the media is going to destroy Trump the second he gets the nomination. Republicans, this should be our year.  After 8 years of Obama, we would have to do something crazy to lose this election...and I think nominating Donald Trump would be just that...crazy.

Most importantly, decency.  Just decency.  I read an awesome blog post by Max Lucado called, "Decency For President." I am a person that thinks the way you treat people says absolutely everything about you. The tweets Trump sends out.  The things he says about women.  The disgusting words he uses. The way he attacks everyone. Is a man that constantly hurls insults at everyone in his path really someone you want representing the United States to the rest of the world? I believe as a Christian that the most important thing in a leader is that he or she is taking guidance from our Heavenly Father.  That is not to say mistakes won't be made, but I want to know that the leader of this great country is looking to God for guidance and prayerfully considering big decisions.  It is not my job to judge Donald Trump or his Christianity, but I can say that I don't think he is a great representation of the Christian faith, or of decency for that matter. That matters to me, and I am having a hard time understanding why it doesn't matter more to the rest of the country.

People, tomorrow is Super Tuesday.  This is a BIG day in the election.  After Tuesday, if Trump is still leading, the race is pretty much over.  When you go to vote, I hope you will think about who will best represent the United States of America to the rest of the world.  I hope you will think about who will be a humble leader.  I hope you will think about who will best fight for your values.  I hope you will think about who has the best chance of beating Hillary Clinton.  BUT, if you forget everything else, please just think about decency.  If you are planning on pushing that button for Donald Trump, I hope you will prayerfully reconsider.

Sincerely,

One Crazy Conservative Mama (now back to writing about baby stuff!)

Friday Favorites- The Best Toddler Scooter

We LOVE this YBIKE GLX Scooter. Anyone that follows me on social media has probably seen pictures and videos of Cole riding it.  Cole's great-grandma, Gigi, got it for him two Christmases ago, when he was not quite 18 months old.  We laughed initially when we opened it, thinking, "Gigi, Cole won't be able to ride this thing until he is like four."  Boy were we wrong!  That day he stood on it and let his Daddy push him around the house, and by the summer when he was not even two, he was riding around by himself.  It's super stable and easy to maneuver.  It comes in blue, green and pink, and it would make the perfect Christmas or birthday gift. I promise, your toddler will LOVE it!

Here he is at 17 months old (Christmas Eve 2014)

The best part is that it's a great way for this wild man to burn off some energy (AKA it wears him out!)

I plan to share some more of my favorite toys/gifts for my kiddos soon. HAPPY FRIDAY, Y'ALL! :)

Meal Planning Monday: Slow Cooker Teriyaki Pork Chops

Meal planning Monday is on a Thursday...again.  I actually did make these yummy pork chops on Sunday and planned to blog them on Monday, but the week got away from me....mom life! ;)

My husband Phil raves over these crockpot teriyaki pork chops.  This is my favorite way to make pork chops- minimum prep time, and they always come out DELICIOUS!  I know our little two year old would love them, too, if he would ever try them! (He is going through a carb/fruit stage that has lasted, oh, about a year and a half so far...) I found the recipe on Pinterest years ago and have been making them from memory ever since.  I can't seem to find the exact original recipe I used, but if I do, I will link to it.

From the Store:

4 boneless pork chops

1/3 cup of chicken broth

1/4 cup soy sauce

2-3 cloves garlic

2 tablespoons brown sugar

salt and pepper 

1. In a bowl, add the 1/3 cup of chicken broth (do not get less sodium, never tastes as good), 1/4 cup of soy sauce and 2 tablespoons of brown sugar to a small mixing bowl.

2. Chop 2-3 cloves of garlic into small pieces.

I like to use this chopper for garlic.

3. Add the garlic to the mixture.

4. Next, place 4 pork chops in the bottom of your crock pot. Salt and pepper them.

5. Pour the mixture over the top of the pork chops.

6. Cook on low for 5-6 hours (this isn't a meal you can leave in the crock pot all day, unfortunately.  I did that once and the pork chops were burned terribly. If your low setting seems to cook high, then check at 4 hours.)

7. Flip the pork chops halfway through and make sure they are still covered in the mixture.

8. The pork chops are ready when you stick a fork in them, and they are super soft and easy to cut.  Once they are ready, you can leave them on warm until you are ready to eat.  Don't let them sit for too long and dry out, though.

9. ENJOY!  This isn't the best picture, but the pork chops are SO yummy.  I like to serve them with baked squash and zucchini and rice.

Recipe Card:

1. In a bowl, add the 1/3 cup of chicken broth (do not get less sodium, never tastes as good), 1/4 cup of soy sauce and 2 tablespoons of brown sugar to a small mixing bowl.

2. Chop 2-3 cloves of garlic into small pieces.
3. Add the garlic to the mixture.
4. Next, place 4 pork chops in the bottom of your crock pot. Salt and pepper them.
5. Pour the mixture over the top of the pork chops.
6. Cook on low for 5-6 hours (this isn't a meal you can leave in the crock pot all day, unfortunately.  I did that once and the pork chops were burned terribly.)
7. Flip the pork chops halfway through and make sure they are still covered in the mixture.
8. The pork chops are ready when you stick a fork in them, and they are super soft and easy to cut.  Once they are ready, you can leave them on warm until you are ready to eat.  Don't let them sit for too long and dry out, though.
9. ENJOY!  I like to serve them with baked squash and zucchini and rice.

Friday Favorites: The Best Little Handheld Vacuum EVER! (ON SALE!)

Mama friends, you NEED this!

I posted this picture of my new favorite little handheld vacuum on social media, and I had about 100 people ask me where they could get one.  Phil got it for me for Christmas, and it is my FAVORITE present (you know you're a mom when your favorite gift is a vacuum). Seriously, this little thing ROCKS: so lightweight, charges easily, and it picks up everything! Although, if you use it to pick up a biscuit, it might get clogged (don't ask me how I know!)  I took the picture above after I used it in and around Cole's carseat...I know, how gross is that?!  I think it picked up an entire bag of Goldfish and at least one mini box of Craisins.

It's ON SALE, so get one today, friends!  You will thank me.  Happy Friday!

Mom Confessions

This weekend, a friend of mine who has two babies almost the same ages as Cole and Annie, sent me a text asking me if I was able to get anything done around the house without putting the TV on.  My response: heck no...not when they are both awake!  Seriously, though, if anyone has a two-and-a-half year old and almost one year old that are able to happily entertain themselves for any period of time without someone getting hurt, please let me know your secrets!  This reminded me of one of the main reasons I wanted to start a blog: to be real with other moms.

In our age of social media, most people just post the "pretty" stuff...which I think is fine.  I don't think social media is the place to post about fights with your husband or vent about issues with your kids.  However; with all these pretty posts, it is easy to compare yourself and think you are not measuring up as a mom.  I have a mom friend who has triplet two year olds and runs not one but TWO businesses out of her house.  Seriously, what a rock star. Meanwhile, I am proud of myself I make it to Publix and back with my two without a major meltdown.

Heres the thing: when it comes down to it, we are all doing our very best, and no one is perfect.  I know I am just figuring it out as I go and praying for grace through all of my mistakes. I may post the sweet pictures of Cole loving on Annie, but I spend half of the day trying to keep him from punching her. So here are my "mom confessions" of the day.  My hope in sharing them is that my mama friends can relate and maybe feel a little better about any of their not-so-pretty or perfect moments.

1. I pack healthy stuff in Cole's preschool lunches that I KNOW he won't eat, just so his teachers won't judge me.  The kid hasn't eaten a sandwich a day in his life, but you better believe I am making PBJ and turkey sandwiches to send in his lunchbox.  Then I am all like, "That's so weird he only ate the goldfish snack and didn't touch the sandwich or broccoli..." In case anyone is wondering, it actually IS possible to survive off of carbs, fruit and orange juice.  Cole is living proof. Who needs protein and vegetables, anyway?

2. A friend of mine shared that her pediatrician told her timeout should last at least 15 minutes (in kids that aren't phased by timeout), and I have secretly been LOVING it. Not that I am thrilled about whatever Cole does to earn a timeout, but I can clean almost the entire house in those 15 minutes he is stuck in the pack-n-play.  He hit Annie before school today, and I was able to pack his lunch, clean the kitchen and load the car. Oh, and maybe he learned his lesson...

3. Cole asks for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes by name.  This means he probably watches way too much TV.  We literally have 65 episodes on the DVR, and this morning he actually said, "Mommy, I want to watch Mickey's Mousekedoer Adventure."

4. I re-washed the same load of laundry 3 times over the past couple days, because I didn't put it in the dryer fast enough.  This is a very common occurrence in our house....that or mildewy smelling clothes (sorry Phil!)

5. This is such a stereotypical SAHM thing to say, but I wear yoga pants 95 percent of the time.  It was actually my goal to get "dressed" more often in 2016, but it hasn't happened yet.  I did splurge on some Lululemon pants and super cute tops from "Seriously Happy Tees", so at least I don't look like a total bum when I go to pick Cole up from school.

6. My child is literally the world's worst sharer, and it kills me.  All two year olds are bad at sharing...I know that is what you are thinking, but I am telling you, Cole is the WORST.  He went through a phase where the first thing he would say in the morning is, "I will not share my toys today."  My husband said the other day that his determination about it is almost impressive...at least we know the kid will accomplish whatever he sets his mind to in this life!  I know Cole is his own person and has a sweet little heart underneath that non-sharing exterior, and (I hope) that he will learn the value of sharing by the time he's 30. I still hate to admit this as a mom, though, because being nice and kind is at the very top of my list of things I want to teach my kids.

7. My kids eat this frozen pizza for dinner a minimum of two nights a week.  It says all natural on the box, which makes me feel slightly better, and they freaking LOVE it, so this meal shortcut won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

8. Cole went through a short (luckily) phase where he was saying, "Oh s***" in the correct context, and he totally got it from me.  The first time it happened, he was running in the house and ran into me and fell, and what do you know, that little voice yelled, "Oh s***" clear as day. I was hoping I heard him wrong, but the next night when he was building blocks with Daddy and he accidentally knocked them over, there it was again. I don't have a potty mouth, but that is my go-to phrase from time to time.  Lesson learned.

9. I was making a grocery list out loud last week, and Cole chimed in, "milk, orange juice, water, WINE, cereal and waffles."  Enough said.

10. I LOVE that my kids can't tell time yet....I put them down at 6:20 p.m. one night last week, and they didn't know the difference (so there is one good thing about it getting dark at 5!)  When Daddy works late, bedtimes get earlier and earlier.  Oh, and I usually pour a glass of wine the second they go down. So Cole was totally right about that grocery list...

So, there you have it.  While I love being a mom to these two precious babies, I do NOT have it all figured out.  Not even close.  My kids watch too much TV and eat frozen pizza for dinner way more often than I would like to admit, and I am just over here drinking wine in my mildewy smelling yoga pants at 6:20 p.m. I thank Jesus up above that he loves me and my kids through all the craziness and shows me grace through my (many) mistakes. As moms, we are all trying our hardest to do what is best for our babies, and the best thing we can do for each other is be REAL and supportive. Oh, and for those moms out there that get dressed every day, and never turn on the TV and cook all organic food, please, teach me your ways...and I promise to only secretly hate you a little bit. ;)